I understand that there is a large group of people that do not watch nor care about cartoons in any way.
Either they’ve outgrown them or do have have kids and feel like they do not have a reason to watch them.
I feel differently.by dealstatic.com
I watch the Televangelist on Sunday morning. If I want to contribute a Love Gift to his ministry, I can call a toll free number. Major credit cards, checks, and money orders are accepted. He calls me ‘Friend’ and I can even put my hand on the screen for a healing and forgiveness from Jesus Himself! He works for Jesus and in return, Jesus works through him. He also gets a great salary. Great job!
He has the most beautiful teeth I’ve ever seen on any mortal. If I were a dentist, I could only pray that he would come to me regularly for a cleaning, a filling, or a denture alignment. I would have a good salary too! We could even barter. I could get a blessing for a cleaning, a healing for a filling, and eternal life in exchange for a lifetime of soul winning smiles. I wonder who his tailor is. I’ll bet next month’s tithe that he doesn’t own a suit like that. Maybe he can barter his services for some stuff from Jesus, a button for a blessing; I’d like to have that job.
HEEEEAAAALLLLLl!!!! Satan! Come out! He slaps the woman with the not so great teeth on the forehead; she falls back only to be caught by his impeccably dressed Deacons (another nice job) and is laid gently on the floor to sleep off her miracle. Did she receive the Holy Spirit, or did he knock her out? She wakes up refreshed. She’s been cured of her insomnia, but she could still use a dentist.
Thanking Jesus, she jumps up and down like a game show contestant who has just won a cruise to the Virgin Islands. I wonder how much she got paid; enough to see the dentist for a cleaning?
Cool! I’m going bald. Maybe if I put my hand on the screen and call in my bank card number, my aging follicles will re-generate and I’ll wake up tomorrow morning just in time for work sporting an Afro! I called the toll free number to see if I could get a prayer. Someone answered immediately. “Jesus Loves You!” It’s nice to know that some Palestinian who died 2,000 years ago, rose from the dead, and who is still somewhere in my heart, loves me.
I was given another number to call. The prayer line had an area code in another state and I’d have to pay for the call. That’s okay, it’s cheaper than Monoxodil. After confessing that I was a sinner whose righteousness was not worth a pile of filthy rags, and after accepting that great big God into my little unworthy heart, I received my prayer. I could just begin to feel my bald spot tingling when I was asked if I would like to become a member of the Trinity Prayer Family. “What is that?” I asked.
“The Bible says that when two or more are present in The Lord’s name, He is present and prayers are answered. The Trinity Prayer Family is a worldwide congregation of millions of the faithful who pray all day for the Lord to answer your prayers.
You’ll receive a quarterly newsletter that contains testimonials from the saved who have received their miracle in the last ninety days, Praise the Lord, a T-shirt, the Reverend’s new book, and a TGI Friday’s gift certificate for two. You will also receive a 10% discount on airfare in the Reverend’s private plane and accommodations in The Prayer Family Hotel during our annual Family Field Trip to the Holy Land. If you will allow us to debit $100.00 a month from your checking account, you can be a part of the God loving family of our Heavenly Father. You will also receive a gift certificate that you can use to buy Holy Water from the Jordan River, Prayer Cloths, and other souvenirs from the hotel’s gift shop.”
Man! What a deal! I told the girl on the phone that I would talk it over with my wife since she is the one who makes the decisions about how large our family should be, and how much we spend on airfare and hotels. I thanked her and Jesus and went to the bathroom to shave my head.
If you are playing Candy Crush like millions of others, then you know by now that the addiction is fierce!by dealstatic.com
The first weekend in May has become one of the best for nerds/geeks. It is usually the opening weekend of one of the summer’s biggest blockbusters and it is free comic book day. The day where the comic industry tries to get new fans and thanks those who frequent comic shops. This year i got up at 5:15 to get to Midtown Comics in Times Square. I made it in time to be one of the first 20 in line. The early trip and wait was worth it. So far the best book i’ve read has been Geoff Johns Last Son Krypton. I was also impressed with the sneak peak at Infinity, the big summer event happening in the Marvel cosmic books. Also included was the usual stack of children’s comics (Archie anyone?) – The Simpsons comics should be a fun read. These kid books are a great jumping in point for parents to share the joy of comics with their children and get them hooked early. I look forward to sharing free comic book day with my children..
- Brad Filickyby dealstatic.com
This week the folks at bbc unvieled thier plans to expand thier toy market for the long running Doctor Who francise. Strickly a 5 inch toyline in the past, they have decided to make the jump to the recently more popular 3.75″.
The first wave will include figures from the 7th most recent series of the beloved show. featuring the 11th doctor his new companion Clara, along with a slew of villians for them to tangle with. Including classics like a dalek and cyberman and newly resurrected ice warriors, aswell as recent additions to the mythos the weeping angels.
Also announced are an inscale tardis and 4 interconnecting playsets. We will just have to see if they expand the line closer to the 5Oth anniversary special. Personally im hoping for a 10th doctor he has always been my favorite!
Fans of the bigger 5 inch line dont fret they are still releasing figures for you to including The Doctor/Dalek two packs featuring doctors 2,4,10. - Ben Hunt
Ray Galindo is a singer songwriter who has been around and seen his share of the world. He is blue collar with a splash of punk. And he’s pissed he hasn’t been able to buy a John Lennon record in over 30 years. He was kind enough to answer some questions for Dealstatic.by dealstatic.com
Hal Johnson’s novel, Immortal Lycanthropes is the rarest of rare things these days. It’s original. Part YA novel, part comedy, part fantasy and, as Hal says in this interview, all adventure. It’s as fun fun to read as it is hard to categorize. Hal Johnson was kind enough to answer some questions for us.
by dealstatic.comWell we all knew it had to end sometime.
The Monks of Mellonwah have come pretty far. The Australian band won “Best Indie Rock Band” at the 2012 Artists in Music Awards in 2012 and they have toured some pretty big markets in the USby dealstatic.com
So by now you have probably heard the rumors of Howard Stern Replacing Jimmy Fallon on Late night Tvby dealstatic.com